Rules for the Road

I'm jealous! I love Audrey Hepburn and cross-country trips. Though I could do without the U-Haul of baggage...
p.s. when are you going? Sure, you can take my portrait! I just went on a 4-hour kayak trip (against the wind with oncoming thunderstorms). Now would be a great time, cuz I look ravishing. Anyway, here are my tips for long road trips:

Avoid nothing. Be open to going to crazy places and take pictures of your UHaul in front of monuments.
Pack light. Bring travel sized toiletries. You can always buy more.
Bring iPod and headphones because there are gonna be times you wanna be in your own world. Lots of CDs. Lots.
Bring roll of toilet paper.
Buy water by the 2.5 gallon
Know the difference between and exit and a rest stop
Bring a cooler with ice and yummy drinks/food
Good food to pack: apples, chips, crackers/bread, peanut butter, trail mix, Beef Jerkey...
Bring a sleeping bag or blanket and a pillow just in case
Sleep on a field in Alabama
Layer
Have camera ready at all times for you may see a black bear cross the street (as I did yesterday in Jersey)
Make hotel reservations. Don't drive drowsy.
Get a good lock for the U-Haul and protective blankets.
Write the world's greatest book of travel poems.
Write travel haiku, like:

Bush bumper sticker.
Sing sexy motherfucker.
Crush your Dirty Mind.

People look like cars
you must be a limousine
the ride is so smooth

Side of the road stop
Seven-Eleven Big Gulp
Wait. I have to pee.

berries sweet mulch pies
pausing for traffic to pass
black bear looks hungry