You See This Doorknob, Barack?

Barack, let me show you something important. This Oval Office doorknob sticks, and it can lock when you don't want it to. When that happens, you have to walk all the way around to the tourist entrance and stand in line. Mighty embarassing! I usually put a book there to prop it open. They'll bring you a thing called the Daily Brief, and that works good. Now, I don't know if they told you, but the house comes unfurnished. Not a stick of furniture. You can go to Ikea and buy your own stuff, like we did when the Clintons left, but you gotta put that together. We got some nice stuff here, and I'm sure we can agree on a fair price to just leave it for you guys. Here, let me show you the candy machine...  --posted by Robert Basler, Reuters Oddly Enough blog, Nov. 10, 2008