I Pledge...

I was never a bright kid; at best, I was average. What you would call a child who once stole one miserable walnut from a supermarket display ("What's that bulge in your pants, Danny?"), but who thought he'd get away with it? A kid who looked twice before crossing the street but who still got run over by a car? What about that time, when on vacation in Cancun, Mexico, after jumping into the deep end of the pool—despite not knowing how to swim—I nearly drowned (many thanks to the burly American for saving my life)? "But these things happen to the best of us, Danny," I hear you saying. "After all," you continue, "you were a kid." I couldn't have known better, right? The point is that life, which is, ostensibly, a collection of experiences, need not—should not—be filled with such failures. In other words, I should have known better, I should have known that telethons weren't created to entertain people (*wink*); they were created so that good deeds could be performed, so that people could dress up and have somewhere to go. The problem I had as a kid—and, frankly, still have—is that I have some trouble relating to what people really need. I have trouble, and I don't think this has ever been clearer to me, understanding the messages and signals that are sent my way, as though my brain is inherently incapable of understanding the 4 billion+ people with whom I share this planet. (I exaggerate, of course, but you get the idea.)

A good example of this little quirk of mine is when, many, many years ago, I was watching one of the "Jerry's Kids" telethons, which, if I remember correctly, went on for what seemed like weeks, and its host, Jerry Lewis, in a fancy tuxedo, implored viewers to donate money with which to help children with some incurable disease. The program was something of a mish-mash of celebrities and musicians coming together for a good cause and a common purpose: helping the less fortunate. At various points throughout the show, cameras would pan over to volunteers working the phones, taking money from folks all over the country. My favorite part of the whole thing, the whole feeling of the program, was when Lewis would walk to the counter with bright, LED lights and say, "We've now raised $250,000 dollars!" Then the band would play, the studio audience would offer polite claps, and the motivation to participate would swell in me even more.

I wanted to help, to participate, and knew I had to do something. I picked up the phone and dialed the 1-800 number, after which I heard the volunteer's voice on the other end of the line: "Jerry's Kids! What's your pledge?" This was the moment that I had been waiting for all afternoon; the opportunity for me to give the only pledge I knew would not be denied: "I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America..." Before I could finish my pledge, the volunteer hung up the phone, and I was left terribly confused. How else could I have helped? What else could I have done? Had I failed so miserably as to not deserve a response? I still ask myself these questions, and I still frame my life, to some extent at least, in terms which only allow for victory and for loss—a particular view of my relations to others that leaves for much confusion and distress.

There will be one day, though, one far-off day, when I'll pick up a phone and the person on the other line will say, with all sincerity, Hello. It's good to hear from you.

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And now, in no particular order, the Best Albums and Related Stuff of 2008:

Stereolab - Chemical Chords - [4AD]
Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes - [Sub Pop]
The Night Marchers - See You in Magic - [Vagrant]
Hot Chip - Made in the Dark - [Astralwerks]
Portishead - Third - [Mercury]
The Black Keys - Attack & Release - [Nonesuch]
Spiritualized - Songs in A & E - [Fontana]
Bonnie "Prince" Billy - Lie Down in the Light - [Drag City]
TV on the Radio - Dear Science - [DGC/Interscope]
Hercules and Love Affair - Hercules and Love Affair - [Mute]

Best Song: "On the Water," by the Walkmen

Best Song by a Band Called "The Black Kids" That is Not Comprised Entirely of Black Kids: "I've Underestimated My Charm (Again)"

Best Single: "Blind," by Hercules and Love Affair
Best Compilation: Randy's 50th Anniversary - [VP Records]
Best Album Not Released in 2008: Damaged, by Black Flag

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I'm here with you all, truly.

[D | R]